Why We Struggle to Learn (And What to Do About It)

We’ve all been there—reading a book, attending a training session, or watching a lecture that seemed insightful at the time, only to forget most of it days later.

You take notes, you nod along, everything makes sense. But when it’s time to recall or apply what you learned? It’s as if your brain has hit the reset button.

It’s frustrating. And it makes many people believe they’re just “bad at learning.”

But the real problem isn’t with you—it’s with how learning is typically structured.

The Myth of “Just Knowing”

If learning were as simple as absorbing information, then reading a book on leadership would make you a great leader. Watching a YouTube tutorial on investing would make you financially successful. And attending a corporate training session on communication would instantly make you a persuasive speaker.

But that’s not how it works.

Julie Dirksen, in her book Design for How People Learn, explains that learning isn’t about dumping information into the brain and hoping it sticks. If that worked, we’d all be geniuses after one PowerPoint presentation.

Real learning happens in layers, through experience, struggle, and refinement.

Why Learning Often Fails

Most training programs and educational systems focus on just one part of learning: knowledge.

Employees sit through long PowerPoint lectures, students cram textbooks, and professionals attend workshops packed with theory. The problem? Knowing something is not the same as being able to do it.

Dirksen explains that effective learning requires a combination of four key elements:

Knowledge – “The What”

This is the foundation—facts, concepts, and principles. It’s what most traditional training provides.

I remember the first time I tried to learn about investing. I read books, attended webinars, and even watched countless YouTube videos. But when it came time to actually invest, I froze. I had all the knowledge, or so i thought, but no idea how to take the first step.

Skills – “The How”

This is where many learning experiences fail. Knowledge alone is useless without skill—the ability to apply what you’ve learned.

Sometime in 2017, I was asked to give a presentation on the history of typography. I had read about it, but when I stood in front of the room, my mind went blank. I believe you have had a similar experience before. It wasn’t until I practiced multiple times, received feedback, and kept refining that I became a little bit confident in my speaking skills (I’m still bad at it though).

Motivation – “The Why”

Even if people have knowledge and skills, they won’t apply them if they don’t see a reason to. Without motivation, learning becomes passive, forgettable, and uninspiring.

I see a lot of individuals and organizations making this mistake. They may be pros when it comes to a particular topic, but more often lack the resources to motivate them to use that skill. The less often you practice the skill, the quicker you lose it. Repetition helps sharpen your skills

Environment – “The Where”

Even with knowledge, skills, and motivation, people still need opportunities to practice. Learning doesn’t happen in isolation—it happens in an environment that encourages experimentation, feedback, and real-world application.

A typical example will be getting hired into a leadership role but not given any real authority to make decisions. Despite going through leadership training, that person will not be able to apply anything they had learned because their workplace environment didn’t support it.

So, How Does Real Learning Happen?

Dirksen compares learning to riding a bicycle. You don’t learn by reading about balance, motion, and speed. You learn by trying, wobbling, adjusting, and improving through experience.

Let’s break it down with three key principles that make learning stick:

We Learn by Doing, Not Just by Hearing

Think about a time you learned something new—driving, cooking, playing an instrument. Did you learn just by reading about it? Or did it take practice, mistakes, and real experience?

Hearing is just taking in information and storing it. Doing it is what etches it into our memory, and repeating will continue to sharpen it.

💡 Practical Guide:

• Teach it to someone else. Teaching forces you to clarify your thoughts.
• Apply it in a real situation immediately after learning.
• Simulate it—if you can’t practice in real life, create scenarios to test yourself.

We Remember What We Struggle With

I don’t remember where i learned this from but it goes something like “if you’re scared of learning anything, don’t waste time. Dive in head-first, you’ll figure it out.”

Have you ever noticed that the lessons that stick the most are the ones you struggled with?

This is because when you wrestle with an idea or a skill, your brain works harder to process and internalize it.

One of the best things I ever learned was how to negotiate. But it wasn’t from a book—it was from my first failed attempt at bargaining. I walked into a deal unprepared, got completely outmaneuvered, and left feeling like I had lost. That painful experience taught me more than any book ever could, and I never made the same mistake again.

💡 Practical Guide:

• Don’t be afraid to get things wrong. Struggling means your brain is actively working.
• Use “desirable difficulty”—deliberately make learning harder (e.g., recall information from memory instead of looking at notes). Ditch google sometimes, ditch the calculator also sometimes. When you “use your head” you’ll feel stupid for not being able to do basic calculations for instance, but that’s fine. It’s a sign that you’re learning.

We Improve When We Get Feedback and Adjust

If you practice the wrong way over and over, you don’t improve—you just reinforce bad habits. Feedback helps us refine our skills and correct mistakes.

When I first started writing, I assumed my work was clear and engaging. Then I asked for feedback—and realized I was overcomplicating everything. Once I learned to simplify and refine, my writing became much better. Maybe my writing is still not clear enough and is still as confusing as the concept of daylight saving time. But I promise you I’ve gotten better. Without feedback, I would have kept repeating the same mistakes.

💡 Practical Guide:

• Seek immediate feedback when learning something new. The sooner you correct mistakes, the faster you improve.
• Create a feedback loop—learn, apply, get feedback, adjust, repeat.

The Takeaway: Learning Isn’t About Memorizing—It’s About Changing How We Think and Act

Most people assume learning is about taking in information. But real learning happens when knowledge turns into actionable skills that are relevant, practiced, and refined.

So the next time you’re struggling to learn something new, don’t just ask:

“Do I understand this?”

Instead, ask:

“Can I apply this?”

If not, you haven’t learned it yet.

Now, think back—what’s one thing you truly learned not by reading or listening, but by doing?